Friday, December 16, 2011
Gia!! I love you
Honey,
On the 7th of Jan a beautiful gift from God came to our house in the form of you. When I first lay my eyes on you outside that hospital room I cannot tell you the emotions I was dealing with it. Like every first in one's life you were the Golden first that means to me a whole load more than any of my other first's. Its a feeling that you will understand only when you grow up to be a mom.
From that first time that you saw me to the first time that you smiled when you saw me, I can say that the joy has only multiplied with each passing day. From this tiny little baby just a few months ago you are now an adorable cutiepie blabbering the whole day and sometimes trying to crawl, sometimes crawling to walk..Oh,its such a feeling. Today you have 3 cute little teeth in your mouth and I so adore it every time I look at you. You are growing and growing fast. Its so surprising honey just the other day when you were born I was saying i can wait to see you crawl up to me when i come home from work today I say to myself I can't wait to start talking to you yet I feel that you are growing fast. Never thought a contradiction could be so beautiful.
Okay, on a more serious note, you are now soon going to be 1. Your first birthday, I am sure that you won't remember much of it when you grow up but I want you to know that this birthday is a very significant day in our life. This marks the celebration of your being with us, how the past one year has been so much more than just work and home. This has meant a start of a new relationship in my life. A life as a father. Honestly I am still coming to terms with the meaning of being a father. Hopefully I would be able to do justice to the way I feel and the way I should be for you as a father.
Today I want to begin by Thanking God for the way He has looked after you and given you good health and everything that one can ask for. I want to Thank my parents, khushi, Khushi's parents for blessing you and giving you the love that you truly truly deserve. I want to thank people who have been looking after you daily with such dedication and devotion. I want to thank those friends (sophie, mani) and so many others that I haven't named today for being the guardian angel in our lives and including us in their prayers. I Thank you all for being there.
I know you would want to do the same thing and I as a father on your behalf Thank everyone out there for their love for you.
Love you loads my sweet little angel. Like i call you Chinni ka bora..(Sugar sack)
Forever yours
Papa
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Sand in my head
An outburst of ignored expectations, misunderstanding, lack of attention, call it whatever you may. For a few times now, there have been moments when dignity and respect has taken a back seat and the devil getting the better of you. Not being able to bridge the gap of communication is such a helpless feeling. Probably this frustration fills our outburst with senseless tongue hurling and hurtful sentences. Often these mindless lashing result in to serious conflicts and a reason for many more fights. What does one do to ease such a situation? Is there a way you can express your views without being vengeful in action or words?
Labor of love is respect, understanding and companionship. While love itself is seemingly open to anyone's definition, and often beyond simple articulation. It's an experience. That interestingly makes it very very subjective. So, when there is disrespect, misunderstanding or feeling of loneliness it creates a furor; as the most sensitive harmony in one's life is disturbed. This love is not necessarily indicative of a love for someone or something but love that is always around in any/many forms that it exists. To simply, a mother feels lonely when her child decides to move to a new city in search of a new world/self. A person feels disrespected when his work goes unnoticed. All these situations create a change but only in its interpretation and not necessarily in its true sense of emotion. A child can never stop loving his mother who feels left alone, the man does not loose his passion or love for what he has been doing so well.
To be able to dive deep into the ocean or climb the highest mountains haven't really poised a big enough challenge but conquering this feeling in a sense that reflects the true state of being has been mysterious and yet to be achieved feat. No wonder than that people seek the path often called Godliness.
Sand in my head, unable to hold your criticism,
Not to say I am insensitive but sincerely to understand,
To explain the furor, for criticism are many,
But none more hurtful than the one that came from you.
Sand in my head, unable to support your ignorance,
Not to say I can understand but sincerely to be there,
To explain the furor, I am nothing to many,
But with you I am complete.
Sand in my head, unable to support you anger,
Not to say I am there but sincerely to hear,
To explain the furor, For many shout and cry,
None more painful than to see you cry.
Sand in my head craving to be the sponge,
To soak up everything you say,
To explain the furor I hear from many,
But none more meaningful than the one that came from you.
Sand in my head craving for the sea,
Of love that comes only from you.
Labor of love is respect, understanding and companionship. While love itself is seemingly open to anyone's definition, and often beyond simple articulation. It's an experience. That interestingly makes it very very subjective. So, when there is disrespect, misunderstanding or feeling of loneliness it creates a furor; as the most sensitive harmony in one's life is disturbed. This love is not necessarily indicative of a love for someone or something but love that is always around in any/many forms that it exists. To simply, a mother feels lonely when her child decides to move to a new city in search of a new world/self. A person feels disrespected when his work goes unnoticed. All these situations create a change but only in its interpretation and not necessarily in its true sense of emotion. A child can never stop loving his mother who feels left alone, the man does not loose his passion or love for what he has been doing so well.
To be able to dive deep into the ocean or climb the highest mountains haven't really poised a big enough challenge but conquering this feeling in a sense that reflects the true state of being has been mysterious and yet to be achieved feat. No wonder than that people seek the path often called Godliness.
Sand in my head, unable to hold your criticism,
Not to say I am insensitive but sincerely to understand,
To explain the furor, for criticism are many,
But none more hurtful than the one that came from you.
Sand in my head, unable to support your ignorance,
Not to say I can understand but sincerely to be there,
To explain the furor, I am nothing to many,
But with you I am complete.
Sand in my head, unable to support you anger,
Not to say I am there but sincerely to hear,
To explain the furor, For many shout and cry,
None more painful than to see you cry.
Sand in my head craving to be the sponge,
To soak up everything you say,
To explain the furor I hear from many,
But none more meaningful than the one that came from you.
Sand in my head craving for the sea,
Of love that comes only from you.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
The Wilderness
Who would have imagined the thrill of a 4X4 Gypsy ride in the middle of the night in the thick of a Jungle at the start of this trip? This was one day trip to Masinagudi, a place about 250 Kms from bangalore. Our journey began at 7 AM with all the three cars meeting in koramangala and then heading out on to Mysore Road towards Ooty. Our first stop was at Bidadi for the famous Thatte idli and to my surprise it was the first for a lot of my friends.
The journey took us through the Bandipur-Mudamali Tiger Reserve before reaching Masangudi. The resort or home stay wilds was located some 6 kms from Masangudi in the thick of a jungle. The hotel guys were supposed to meet us at a check gate to take up to the hotel in a Jeep. This was the moment of a thrilling ride. We started down a slope in to the woods. No roads all slurry and rocks through a dense coffee estate of Rafiq Sait. The driver showed us Tiger Pug marks and pop on the way to the hotel. We also were lucky to see the giant malabar Squirrel sitting on top of a hill. This wasn't our first animal siting though, it had started much earlier just as we entered Bandipur, we were lucky to catch a herd of elephants in their playful best. Loads of spotted dear, Sambar dear and Biasons had already made their presence felt. I am not very educated on birds but we did spot a lot of parrots, peacocks, wood peckers and many other birds.
Finally, we reached our hotel after all the stops and camera shoots around 1 PM. Wilds, the place was very neat with beautiful, Spacious rooms tastefully decorated. Among other things, there were these Tree houses and some huts, rather expensive huts. The place was serene and comfortable for stay however not too many options for food. And whatever was being offered was very expensive for the price one pays. After settling in our rooms and a hearty meal, all guys gathered to have a game of Cricket. This indeed was fun playing in the jungle and making all the noise, amply encouraged by our Monkey and langur audience around the play area. Our team won 2-1 in a 3 game series. Wat a start!! However, the most exciting leg of the journey was still to come, in the form of a nigh safari. Until then we all had time to catch up light up some fire, catch up some old jokes and sit around. I got my cooking hat on and this time it was not just potatoes but onions too cooked in the wood fire. I was so happy with the cooking and how everyone really enjoyed it or so I assume.
Here comes the show stopper, a journey in to the dark, in an open gypsy. What seemed to have been almost cancelled a while ago because of the rain was now a reality. Totally unaware of what to expect, we started on our way in to the jungle. We spotted a mice first thing we entered and I said to myself, certainly a good omen. Just as I said that started the thrilling ride, the roads where slippery and tricky, with large rocks and the car almost floating. Our driver had incredible control and even in that darkness very aware of the way around. I remember an instance when one of the cars following us just took a wrong turn, to catch the other guy, our driver had to speed up and he did just that, the accuracy of his turns and his speed was breath taking. This was certainly worth the ride even if we didnt spot any animals.
After riding in the jungle for a good hour or so we spotted some rabbits, deer and finally a herd of elephants. Now, this was the most exciting wild animal experience I have had. The driver of our car and his seeker seemed to be preety good at what they were doing. We saw a baby elephant and her mother on the right side of the car seemingly calm, what we didn't realise was that on a left was probably a giant elephant getting ready to charge in case we did anything to the mother or the child I guess. The ranting and charging of the elephant was simply amaging. Never heard a sound that loud this close. The elephant would charge a little but then we stood our ground and made some elephant noise ourselves, the elephant backed off in the jungle, or at least it seemed so. But that was not to be, he came charging once again and this time from behind us. A loud Grant, wowwww, it was awesome. We stood our ground and kept at it for sometime. We didnt mean to hurt the animal to enrage him more so we moved on, just as we moved a few 100 meters away from the elephants, the elephants crossed the road and was back into the group. It was an amaging sight. We were heading back to the hotel and almost in the final leg of our journey, just as we took a turn, I heard a feeble but a definite roar. Our seeker moved the light in the direction of the roar and there it was staring at us from a distance, a tiger. It made another one of its rumble. It was such an incredible feeling. The trip was such a success. The ride was simply awesome, but couple of hours of the ride was certainly exhausting, I wonder what would have been the case with the driver. The whole sequence of things and the ride was something I will cherish for a long long time..........As we go in to our beds, our minds are filled with some really good thoughts.
The next morning, some of our friends wanted to feel the jungle one more time before we leave. The rest of us choose to laze around and enjoy the nature walk around the coffee estate. A stream of water trickly down, fresh air, chill in the wind and chirping birds were such soothing sounds. It was so worth it. After our breakfast we were all set to return to the wilderness where we all belong, Bangalore calling bangalore.
A trip that will remain as an experience I shall remember for some time to come. Thanks to all the friends and Vivek who did all the hard work to search and finalise on the place.
The journey took us through the Bandipur-Mudamali Tiger Reserve before reaching Masangudi. The resort or home stay wilds was located some 6 kms from Masangudi in the thick of a jungle. The hotel guys were supposed to meet us at a check gate to take up to the hotel in a Jeep. This was the moment of a thrilling ride. We started down a slope in to the woods. No roads all slurry and rocks through a dense coffee estate of Rafiq Sait. The driver showed us Tiger Pug marks and pop on the way to the hotel. We also were lucky to see the giant malabar Squirrel sitting on top of a hill. This wasn't our first animal siting though, it had started much earlier just as we entered Bandipur, we were lucky to catch a herd of elephants in their playful best. Loads of spotted dear, Sambar dear and Biasons had already made their presence felt. I am not very educated on birds but we did spot a lot of parrots, peacocks, wood peckers and many other birds.
Finally, we reached our hotel after all the stops and camera shoots around 1 PM. Wilds, the place was very neat with beautiful, Spacious rooms tastefully decorated. Among other things, there were these Tree houses and some huts, rather expensive huts. The place was serene and comfortable for stay however not too many options for food. And whatever was being offered was very expensive for the price one pays. After settling in our rooms and a hearty meal, all guys gathered to have a game of Cricket. This indeed was fun playing in the jungle and making all the noise, amply encouraged by our Monkey and langur audience around the play area. Our team won 2-1 in a 3 game series. Wat a start!! However, the most exciting leg of the journey was still to come, in the form of a nigh safari. Until then we all had time to catch up light up some fire, catch up some old jokes and sit around. I got my cooking hat on and this time it was not just potatoes but onions too cooked in the wood fire. I was so happy with the cooking and how everyone really enjoyed it or so I assume.
Here comes the show stopper, a journey in to the dark, in an open gypsy. What seemed to have been almost cancelled a while ago because of the rain was now a reality. Totally unaware of what to expect, we started on our way in to the jungle. We spotted a mice first thing we entered and I said to myself, certainly a good omen. Just as I said that started the thrilling ride, the roads where slippery and tricky, with large rocks and the car almost floating. Our driver had incredible control and even in that darkness very aware of the way around. I remember an instance when one of the cars following us just took a wrong turn, to catch the other guy, our driver had to speed up and he did just that, the accuracy of his turns and his speed was breath taking. This was certainly worth the ride even if we didnt spot any animals.
After riding in the jungle for a good hour or so we spotted some rabbits, deer and finally a herd of elephants. Now, this was the most exciting wild animal experience I have had. The driver of our car and his seeker seemed to be preety good at what they were doing. We saw a baby elephant and her mother on the right side of the car seemingly calm, what we didn't realise was that on a left was probably a giant elephant getting ready to charge in case we did anything to the mother or the child I guess. The ranting and charging of the elephant was simply amaging. Never heard a sound that loud this close. The elephant would charge a little but then we stood our ground and made some elephant noise ourselves, the elephant backed off in the jungle, or at least it seemed so. But that was not to be, he came charging once again and this time from behind us. A loud Grant, wowwww, it was awesome. We stood our ground and kept at it for sometime. We didnt mean to hurt the animal to enrage him more so we moved on, just as we moved a few 100 meters away from the elephants, the elephants crossed the road and was back into the group. It was an amaging sight. We were heading back to the hotel and almost in the final leg of our journey, just as we took a turn, I heard a feeble but a definite roar. Our seeker moved the light in the direction of the roar and there it was staring at us from a distance, a tiger. It made another one of its rumble. It was such an incredible feeling. The trip was such a success. The ride was simply awesome, but couple of hours of the ride was certainly exhausting, I wonder what would have been the case with the driver. The whole sequence of things and the ride was something I will cherish for a long long time..........As we go in to our beds, our minds are filled with some really good thoughts.
The next morning, some of our friends wanted to feel the jungle one more time before we leave. The rest of us choose to laze around and enjoy the nature walk around the coffee estate. A stream of water trickly down, fresh air, chill in the wind and chirping birds were such soothing sounds. It was so worth it. After our breakfast we were all set to return to the wilderness where we all belong, Bangalore calling bangalore.
A trip that will remain as an experience I shall remember for some time to come. Thanks to all the friends and Vivek who did all the hard work to search and finalise on the place.
Monday, September 5, 2011
1500 Kms of Destress road therapy
Though I have driven well over 1500 Kms in the last few days through probably the worst possible roads in God's Own Country Kerela, but the sights and sounds of all the places made it all worth it. A much needed break, I call it a search, search for nothing yet you get all that you can ask for.
My body is tired but the mind relaxed. A Journey that was planned at the nth moment. The idea was to spend 4 days in Munnar and back but fate had some other plans. I did some route search and chalked out a plan to drive through hosur-Krishnagiri-Salem-Iddupadi-Thippur-palladam-Munnar. The first leg of the journey for about 150kms was all tranquil as you drive on NH7 on to NH47. But the first turn on to Mutter road was the start of getting lost. My sincere advice to all those driving in Tamil Nadu state highways please learn reading and speaking in Tamil before you venture in any of these highways. The stretch which was intended to save us 50 Km costed us additional 50 Km. There are absolutely no signage in any other language other than Tamil. The roads a narrow with two many cuts and directions. One wrong turn and you are lost in villages. We finally found our way back onto NH47 and then on to Palladam. The place was amagingly windy with tons of wind-farms good 40-50 km with good roads, and then you enter Kerela through the Chinnar Wild Life Sanctuary. This is a single road with tons of pot holes. Which is true for most part of kerela. (A Sad thing considering so many tourist visit this Blissful place). We were driving through the jungle with no tools (We forgot the Wheel Wrench and other tool kit at home, luckily we didn't need any). As we made our way through the hills,(Munnar was still approximately 50 Km) we were soon approaching nightfall. The winds picking up every km we drove into the woods. Suddenly out of no where we are greeted with some very beautiful birds, none that I have seen before and then a playful elephant very close to our car. We almost ran into a herd of elephants but were lucky to have just passed them without troubling them. The winding roads were only getting more regular and bumpier with more and more pot holes, there it was our first waterfall of the journey from a distance the sound of the water crashing down on the ground below was simply beautiful. The splendor only grew as the rains started and we climbed up the hills. Presenting ever changing view of the Blue hills. The water falls presented a very good break everytime we passed one falling on the road and passing under it. It was almost 9 PM when we reached our resort near the perinakal fall. Another majestic fall. The resort was on the NH49 and I must say that the roads are pathetic for a good part of the journey in Kerela. The lockhart estates presenting breath taking view of the hills. I remember driving through a tea factory I guess when a whiff of tea being blended greeted us. I must say that though I am not a tea drinker, the aroma was simply awesome. We had traveled our first 500 Km today. After dinner we all crashed.
The next day when we woke up near the pandavas rock, a view out of the window presented Blues Hills and the Fog almost hugging all the rocks. The wind and the drizzle was simply beautiful to watch. This being said, it never is very nice when you have plans to go sight seeing. After our breakfast we started for the Top Station some 50 Kms from the resort. There were many sights that were simply superb. I am skipping all to reach straight to Top Station. This ironically falls in Tamil nadu. What is the top station, it a walk on a cliff taking you to the edge of a hill providing a 360 degree view of the hills around you. The Cliff almost fills you with awe of its splendor and might. The only thing is you really need strong legs and powerful lungs to trek down the cliff to the vantage point. The walk back is steep and really tests your stamina. I strongly recommending spending time on this hill. After shopping in the local bazar and food in Munnar, we returned on time back to the hotel. Our Little angel Gia getting her first cold. The weather the whole day had been raining. The flooring in our cottage was super cold for our baby to play anywhere other than the bed.
The next morning, there was strong winds and thick fogs. The weather a huge deterent when you have a small 8 month old who doesn't like to just sit in a car or a room. How in-different they are to the changing environment. She didn't seem to mind the cold at all but running nose a little warm body was good enough for us to escape the cold hills into something more bearable. We then drove to thekkady, through the winding hills and ever increasing pot holes to reach thekkady. Another wild life sanctuary around a lake. We were again greeted with tons of rain and waterfalls on our way. After spending a few hours here we started for Kumarakom. The back waters. The roads are such a deterent to anything that you want to do here. The distance, rain, bad roads only made the travel a very painful experience to an otherwise awesome trip. After checking in our hotel for the night we retired after the tiring road trip. We had traveled good 800 Kms by now. What to say about the back waters and house boat. I think its an experience and only an experience can define it.
The last leg of the journey was to the historical city of kochi and its heritage sites. After spending a day in kochi we headed home. I never imagined the roads would be this bed. What should have been just 8 hrs drive turns out to be 11 hrs ride. Thanks to very bad roads. Good 120kms of non motor-able roads.
Though we traveled 1500 kms, this trip with my parents was one that will be long engraved in our memories. Personally this trip for me was a much a needed break from the monotony of life and the tired feeling.
I will definitely recommend driving down to kerela inspite of bad roads. Only thing you need may be an SUV instead of a small car.
My body is tired but the mind relaxed. A Journey that was planned at the nth moment. The idea was to spend 4 days in Munnar and back but fate had some other plans. I did some route search and chalked out a plan to drive through hosur-Krishnagiri-Salem-Iddupadi-Thippur-palladam-Munnar. The first leg of the journey for about 150kms was all tranquil as you drive on NH7 on to NH47. But the first turn on to Mutter road was the start of getting lost. My sincere advice to all those driving in Tamil Nadu state highways please learn reading and speaking in Tamil before you venture in any of these highways. The stretch which was intended to save us 50 Km costed us additional 50 Km. There are absolutely no signage in any other language other than Tamil. The roads a narrow with two many cuts and directions. One wrong turn and you are lost in villages. We finally found our way back onto NH47 and then on to Palladam. The place was amagingly windy with tons of wind-farms good 40-50 km with good roads, and then you enter Kerela through the Chinnar Wild Life Sanctuary. This is a single road with tons of pot holes. Which is true for most part of kerela. (A Sad thing considering so many tourist visit this Blissful place). We were driving through the jungle with no tools (We forgot the Wheel Wrench and other tool kit at home, luckily we didn't need any). As we made our way through the hills,(Munnar was still approximately 50 Km) we were soon approaching nightfall. The winds picking up every km we drove into the woods. Suddenly out of no where we are greeted with some very beautiful birds, none that I have seen before and then a playful elephant very close to our car. We almost ran into a herd of elephants but were lucky to have just passed them without troubling them. The winding roads were only getting more regular and bumpier with more and more pot holes, there it was our first waterfall of the journey from a distance the sound of the water crashing down on the ground below was simply beautiful. The splendor only grew as the rains started and we climbed up the hills. Presenting ever changing view of the Blue hills. The water falls presented a very good break everytime we passed one falling on the road and passing under it. It was almost 9 PM when we reached our resort near the perinakal fall. Another majestic fall. The resort was on the NH49 and I must say that the roads are pathetic for a good part of the journey in Kerela. The lockhart estates presenting breath taking view of the hills. I remember driving through a tea factory I guess when a whiff of tea being blended greeted us. I must say that though I am not a tea drinker, the aroma was simply awesome. We had traveled our first 500 Km today. After dinner we all crashed.
The next day when we woke up near the pandavas rock, a view out of the window presented Blues Hills and the Fog almost hugging all the rocks. The wind and the drizzle was simply beautiful to watch. This being said, it never is very nice when you have plans to go sight seeing. After our breakfast we started for the Top Station some 50 Kms from the resort. There were many sights that were simply superb. I am skipping all to reach straight to Top Station. This ironically falls in Tamil nadu. What is the top station, it a walk on a cliff taking you to the edge of a hill providing a 360 degree view of the hills around you. The Cliff almost fills you with awe of its splendor and might. The only thing is you really need strong legs and powerful lungs to trek down the cliff to the vantage point. The walk back is steep and really tests your stamina. I strongly recommending spending time on this hill. After shopping in the local bazar and food in Munnar, we returned on time back to the hotel. Our Little angel Gia getting her first cold. The weather the whole day had been raining. The flooring in our cottage was super cold for our baby to play anywhere other than the bed.
The next morning, there was strong winds and thick fogs. The weather a huge deterent when you have a small 8 month old who doesn't like to just sit in a car or a room. How in-different they are to the changing environment. She didn't seem to mind the cold at all but running nose a little warm body was good enough for us to escape the cold hills into something more bearable. We then drove to thekkady, through the winding hills and ever increasing pot holes to reach thekkady. Another wild life sanctuary around a lake. We were again greeted with tons of rain and waterfalls on our way. After spending a few hours here we started for Kumarakom. The back waters. The roads are such a deterent to anything that you want to do here. The distance, rain, bad roads only made the travel a very painful experience to an otherwise awesome trip. After checking in our hotel for the night we retired after the tiring road trip. We had traveled good 800 Kms by now. What to say about the back waters and house boat. I think its an experience and only an experience can define it.
The last leg of the journey was to the historical city of kochi and its heritage sites. After spending a day in kochi we headed home. I never imagined the roads would be this bed. What should have been just 8 hrs drive turns out to be 11 hrs ride. Thanks to very bad roads. Good 120kms of non motor-able roads.
Though we traveled 1500 kms, this trip with my parents was one that will be long engraved in our memories. Personally this trip for me was a much a needed break from the monotony of life and the tired feeling.
I will definitely recommend driving down to kerela inspite of bad roads. Only thing you need may be an SUV instead of a small car.
Friday, August 26, 2011
On a Quest
A journey that began with our birth, driven by aspirations, expectations, greed, need. Whatever the source of fuel, we continue on our quest on a Seemingly unending chain. I sometimes wonder if this Quest is the God within us that made us an explorer, inventor, destroyer, Conqueror and what you may have. Unable to seek answers has always set us up on a path that has forever changed the way we had lived in the past. Forcing change, re-aligning of forces. Disturbing the equilibrium to set in peace again. Every agitation has met with a peaceful silence. Every Silence has been broken by a deafening noise. As I gather my thoughts on the revelations that life brings with it every morning. From being a baby once to being a father today. From exploring everything with my tongue irrespective of the size, filth or consequence as a baby to trying to stop this very exploration by my child. Life takes a complete circle to remind us that we are on a growing spiral and will always be greeted by future in some form of the present and the past.
A sister called one night, seemingly disturbed on the pretext of not being able to work or should I say earning money. An aspiration not very different from what most of us have. But this quest, instead of drawing the best out of her was changing her behavior making her easily irritable and restless. While trying to help her channel her energy on a greater goal, instead of creating a monster of herself, I realised the importance of keeping our quest within the ambit of self preservation. Anything that forces me to change my behaviour, attitude and character from being a polite, respectful, confident person to that of a wild savage is surely a wrong quest to set out on or is it?. It cannot be, that is where a Guru or a mentor or God comes in to help isolate the quest from its impurity. I remember asking my sister why is it so important to start earning immediately? What happens if we don't do it now? What are we missing? The time that we have today will never come back again, it is an opportunity, an opportunity to do things that we may not get time to do tomorrow when we are back on our quest. We have not put an opportunity cost on the things we can do today and will yearn to do tomorrow. This shall preserve the restlessness and channel the energies for a better realisation from the quest.
As I continue diving into this thought, I see so many such circles of situations, Questions, behaviour both in personal, family and friends life's. No wonder than that people seek light, seek a saviour or a Guru. Cleansing our thoughts and keep us on track.
A sister called one night, seemingly disturbed on the pretext of not being able to work or should I say earning money. An aspiration not very different from what most of us have. But this quest, instead of drawing the best out of her was changing her behavior making her easily irritable and restless. While trying to help her channel her energy on a greater goal, instead of creating a monster of herself, I realised the importance of keeping our quest within the ambit of self preservation. Anything that forces me to change my behaviour, attitude and character from being a polite, respectful, confident person to that of a wild savage is surely a wrong quest to set out on or is it?. It cannot be, that is where a Guru or a mentor or God comes in to help isolate the quest from its impurity. I remember asking my sister why is it so important to start earning immediately? What happens if we don't do it now? What are we missing? The time that we have today will never come back again, it is an opportunity, an opportunity to do things that we may not get time to do tomorrow when we are back on our quest. We have not put an opportunity cost on the things we can do today and will yearn to do tomorrow. This shall preserve the restlessness and channel the energies for a better realisation from the quest.
As I continue diving into this thought, I see so many such circles of situations, Questions, behaviour both in personal, family and friends life's. No wonder than that people seek light, seek a saviour or a Guru. Cleansing our thoughts and keep us on track.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
A Curious case of BEI
There has been a lot that I have written and cried over in the last few months about BEI. Today will be no different but I really hope to bring in the reality and leave you to form a perspective of your own. It would be my endeavor not to bring in personal opinion but if I do so please forgive me. This by no stretch of imagination an exaggeration or unmindful venom spitting. I have a lot of respect for this organisation and the value that it brings to its customers. They definitely do much more for the society than any other company I have known.
Then what is it that makes me write this. This company has some very brilliant and smart professionals. They definitely have the potential and the money required for an exponential growth. One would imagine that they would utilize this to there advantage and drive in top gear. But thats not the case to be. At least not now and unless things change drastically I don't think that this company would be known for anything else. So what are these things that I am talking about. For starters there are very common issues like :
Poor leadership.
Poor communication.
Lack of empowerment or autonomy.
Inflexible working conditions.
Difficulty with co-workers.
Heavy workloads or stress, with no reward or gratitude.
While I have my reasons for all that I have written above it may not be relevant if its not endorsed by many more in the organisation. I Do not intend to bring disrepute or cause any harm to this org. I only wish they take steps to address some basic needs of its employees and enjoy the true value of its individuals.
Then what is it that makes me write this. This company has some very brilliant and smart professionals. They definitely have the potential and the money required for an exponential growth. One would imagine that they would utilize this to there advantage and drive in top gear. But thats not the case to be. At least not now and unless things change drastically I don't think that this company would be known for anything else. So what are these things that I am talking about. For starters there are very common issues like :
Poor leadership.
Poor communication.
Lack of empowerment or autonomy.
Inflexible working conditions.
Difficulty with co-workers.
Heavy workloads or stress, with no reward or gratitude.
While I have my reasons for all that I have written above it may not be relevant if its not endorsed by many more in the organisation. I Do not intend to bring disrepute or cause any harm to this org. I only wish they take steps to address some basic needs of its employees and enjoy the true value of its individuals.
Monday, August 8, 2011
A Bus Ride
Today is a day when I renounced my car for Good I reckon. This meant taking the public transport, turns out to be a really nice break. I started my journey from near the house to Brigade road on the BIG10. Apart from the heat and people rubbing against each other this 30 min ride gave me time to think about the days events.
Its certainly not easy when you get used to the freaking air conditioning of the car and the music. The cramp seats are no joy either. But the frantic motion and the sleeping neighbor does indicate tranquility for those able to find peace in commotion. It was a long afternoon walk but a much needed one. Until I take my next ride, which i reckon will not be that far it remains as one of those rides that I will like to remember.
:)
Its certainly not easy when you get used to the freaking air conditioning of the car and the music. The cramp seats are no joy either. But the frantic motion and the sleeping neighbor does indicate tranquility for those able to find peace in commotion. It was a long afternoon walk but a much needed one. Until I take my next ride, which i reckon will not be that far it remains as one of those rides that I will like to remember.
:)
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Scrambled Thoughts...Couldn't think of a better title
Been searching for a topic that I could give shape in my thoughts but could not get the inspiration. None the less I am here. There are a lot of things to say, a lot of catching up with myself to do. Where do I begin??
Hmmmm..Gia is now seven months old infact she just completed it today, she has been with me for most part of the last few months as her mother was traveling to US. What can I say? Its almost like I was instinctively her mother or at least I felt that. I was so determined not to make Gia feel her absence one bit. Spending every bit of time and energy close to her. I remember sleeping next to her and checking on her the whole night on whether she is comfortably sleeping or not. Well I write this not to highlight I stayed up nights for my daughter but the fact that I did and it happened so naturally, I didn't have to try, guess thats what parenting is all about.
There have been a lot of emotional bursts lately, there are a lot of unbalanced equations still going on in life to keep it on a high. Business is taking shape but its a long way to go from where we are. Hopefully this will give us the might and help us shape the future for our child and some of our own aspirations.
Talking about aspirations I haven't traveled anywhere in months and its taking its toll, sometime i am not really sure if I its this need for a travel or break or both. Well Don't have answers but only questions. Lately I have been considering the options of finding a job in Dubai and moving there don't know why this thought but I am very inclined to accept an offer if it comes my way. I know it would mean leaving a lot of things behind, things that matter the world to me but a few years away would mean a lot of financial stability and I am hoping some learning. The other alternate to this was a few months of training or specialisation in Singapore that will go a long way but its very expensive.
Lets see where life takes me, for now its slow and irritable state of mind that I am fighting. Missing some of my old friends want to chew, cook, travel and relax for a bit. There are too many random thoughts which i am dealing with like all of us. Seems like its murkier for me than i would have liked and not able to get to the end of the tunnel is creating all the uproar. Till I find a solution or create another challenge lets see how we travel.
Hmmmm..Gia is now seven months old infact she just completed it today, she has been with me for most part of the last few months as her mother was traveling to US. What can I say? Its almost like I was instinctively her mother or at least I felt that. I was so determined not to make Gia feel her absence one bit. Spending every bit of time and energy close to her. I remember sleeping next to her and checking on her the whole night on whether she is comfortably sleeping or not. Well I write this not to highlight I stayed up nights for my daughter but the fact that I did and it happened so naturally, I didn't have to try, guess thats what parenting is all about.
There have been a lot of emotional bursts lately, there are a lot of unbalanced equations still going on in life to keep it on a high. Business is taking shape but its a long way to go from where we are. Hopefully this will give us the might and help us shape the future for our child and some of our own aspirations.
Talking about aspirations I haven't traveled anywhere in months and its taking its toll, sometime i am not really sure if I its this need for a travel or break or both. Well Don't have answers but only questions. Lately I have been considering the options of finding a job in Dubai and moving there don't know why this thought but I am very inclined to accept an offer if it comes my way. I know it would mean leaving a lot of things behind, things that matter the world to me but a few years away would mean a lot of financial stability and I am hoping some learning. The other alternate to this was a few months of training or specialisation in Singapore that will go a long way but its very expensive.
Lets see where life takes me, for now its slow and irritable state of mind that I am fighting. Missing some of my old friends want to chew, cook, travel and relax for a bit. There are too many random thoughts which i am dealing with like all of us. Seems like its murkier for me than i would have liked and not able to get to the end of the tunnel is creating all the uproar. Till I find a solution or create another challenge lets see how we travel.
Friday, May 27, 2011
In pursuit of a better boss
Would you like a better boss? A boss who helps you obtain valuable information, win needed resources, and secure important support for your group and for you personally — in short, a boss who's a real ally and partner?
If your boss provides these benefits, you're lucky. We hear far more complaints than praise from people about their bosses. If you're unlucky, this blog is for you, and its message is simple — your relationship with your boss is less a matter of luck than you think.
When we talk to managers with complaints, we find they usually assume the relationship rests entirely in the hands of the boss. It is what the boss makes it, and there's little they can do to change it.
Do you assume that it's your boss who sets the tone in your relationship? If so, test that assumption. Almost certainly, you have more ability than you think to shape how you work together. After all, it's a relationship of mutual dependence. You each need the other to succeed. Unless your boss is a psychopath or truly irrational, this interdependence is a foundation on which you can take steps to build something mutually beneficial.
Start by taking some responsibility for the relationship and asking yourself some basic questions:
Are you meeting expectations?
If your group isn't performing, you obviously cannot expect a great relationship. By underperforming, you're making your boss look bad. Hit your targets, work out a plan for hitting them, or re-negotiate the targets. If you don't, nothing else is likely to go right between you. Remember, too, that her expectations extend beyond simple numbers and include things like sharing key information, inclusion in certain key decisions, and even personal support and loyalty.
Do you see your boss as your coach or your judge?
In fact, every boss is both and you need to figure out when and where he tends to be one or the other. Don't fall into the trap of thinking he's only a judge. That hyper-critical assumption will prepare you for the worst because it puts you always on your guard. But it rarely reflects reality — most bosses can and will play both roles — and it will keep you from reaching out to him and obtaining the benefits of a good relationship. Better to see his dual roles as extremes between which he moves back and forth, depending on the situation. At first, in small, low-risk ways, test when and how he's willing to provide support, and move forward based on what you learn.
Does your boss trust you?
Have you demonstrated to her satisfaction your competence and character, the two pillars of trust? Does she believe you know what to do and how to do it? Does she believe in your values, standards, and intentions? Have you communicated them in your behavior and words? Any influence you have on her will begin with her trust in you.
Do the two of you see the current situation in the same way?
Do you see the problems you both face in the same way and do you agree about where you're going and how you're going to get there? Do you even understand the problems your boss faces? If you don't, he will inevitably wonder if you're helping him deal with them.
Are you able to see your boss as a person, not just an authority figure?
Behind your boss's title, there's an imperfect person just like you. She has hopes, aspirations, frustrations, strengths, weaknesses, and fears, and she's the product of her unique background, training, and experience. Do you know enough about her that you can begin to see the world through her eyes? If you do, can you use that knowledge to adapt how you deal with her, just as you use such insights to shape how you deal with anyone else?
Can you identify your boss's strengths and weaknesses?
Perhaps you can only see the weaknesses, but identify his strengths too — again, just as you would with anyone else. Have you thought about how to build on his strengths and work around or compensate for his weaknesses? You'll never have a boss without weakness of some kind. Be generous in your judgment of him, just as you hope your people will judge you generously.
Are you unknowingly bringing your own emotional baggage into this relationship?
Through years of growing up and dealing with authority figures, starting with our parents, many of us learn to dislike and distrust anyone who claims authority over us. Are your attitudes about your boss shaped by your own feelings and attitudes that are based not on experience with her personally but with others from your past?
Take responsibility for this crucial relationship. Test and probe to find what's possible. There are bad bosses with whom you will have little ability to shape the way you work together, but most bosses are just people like you, with likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. It will never be a relationship of equals — that's not how the world works — but it can be mutually supportive, and even mutually rewarding
If your boss provides these benefits, you're lucky. We hear far more complaints than praise from people about their bosses. If you're unlucky, this blog is for you, and its message is simple — your relationship with your boss is less a matter of luck than you think.
When we talk to managers with complaints, we find they usually assume the relationship rests entirely in the hands of the boss. It is what the boss makes it, and there's little they can do to change it.
Do you assume that it's your boss who sets the tone in your relationship? If so, test that assumption. Almost certainly, you have more ability than you think to shape how you work together. After all, it's a relationship of mutual dependence. You each need the other to succeed. Unless your boss is a psychopath or truly irrational, this interdependence is a foundation on which you can take steps to build something mutually beneficial.
Start by taking some responsibility for the relationship and asking yourself some basic questions:
Are you meeting expectations?
If your group isn't performing, you obviously cannot expect a great relationship. By underperforming, you're making your boss look bad. Hit your targets, work out a plan for hitting them, or re-negotiate the targets. If you don't, nothing else is likely to go right between you. Remember, too, that her expectations extend beyond simple numbers and include things like sharing key information, inclusion in certain key decisions, and even personal support and loyalty.
Do you see your boss as your coach or your judge?
In fact, every boss is both and you need to figure out when and where he tends to be one or the other. Don't fall into the trap of thinking he's only a judge. That hyper-critical assumption will prepare you for the worst because it puts you always on your guard. But it rarely reflects reality — most bosses can and will play both roles — and it will keep you from reaching out to him and obtaining the benefits of a good relationship. Better to see his dual roles as extremes between which he moves back and forth, depending on the situation. At first, in small, low-risk ways, test when and how he's willing to provide support, and move forward based on what you learn.
Does your boss trust you?
Have you demonstrated to her satisfaction your competence and character, the two pillars of trust? Does she believe you know what to do and how to do it? Does she believe in your values, standards, and intentions? Have you communicated them in your behavior and words? Any influence you have on her will begin with her trust in you.
Do the two of you see the current situation in the same way?
Do you see the problems you both face in the same way and do you agree about where you're going and how you're going to get there? Do you even understand the problems your boss faces? If you don't, he will inevitably wonder if you're helping him deal with them.
Are you able to see your boss as a person, not just an authority figure?
Behind your boss's title, there's an imperfect person just like you. She has hopes, aspirations, frustrations, strengths, weaknesses, and fears, and she's the product of her unique background, training, and experience. Do you know enough about her that you can begin to see the world through her eyes? If you do, can you use that knowledge to adapt how you deal with her, just as you use such insights to shape how you deal with anyone else?
Can you identify your boss's strengths and weaknesses?
Perhaps you can only see the weaknesses, but identify his strengths too — again, just as you would with anyone else. Have you thought about how to build on his strengths and work around or compensate for his weaknesses? You'll never have a boss without weakness of some kind. Be generous in your judgment of him, just as you hope your people will judge you generously.
Are you unknowingly bringing your own emotional baggage into this relationship?
Through years of growing up and dealing with authority figures, starting with our parents, many of us learn to dislike and distrust anyone who claims authority over us. Are your attitudes about your boss shaped by your own feelings and attitudes that are based not on experience with her personally but with others from your past?
Take responsibility for this crucial relationship. Test and probe to find what's possible. There are bad bosses with whom you will have little ability to shape the way you work together, but most bosses are just people like you, with likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. It will never be a relationship of equals — that's not how the world works — but it can be mutually supportive, and even mutually rewarding
Getting past a communication Impasse
What do you do when you have a communication impasse with someone?
Arun, Sarva & Srini were colleagues whom I have worked with and have known them for at least a year or more. It's been a hard year for me and I working with them didn't seem to be easy either. The language itself seems very accusing. They could not get what they were looking for in me and I could not get what i was looking for in them.
My last experience saw with Arun, Arun's way of leading has been surprising, for some reasons he feels intimidation, dis-respect and mocking people is the best way. Srini on the other hand believed in micro managing and absolute dictator like attitude without the ability to own. Sarva, I am still to figure out why we could never connect I was performing well doing what I should or so I believed.
All these experience has taken me aback, hurt and questioning my own ability to manage the relations better. I haven't been able to get some of the bickering and pointless, mindless conversations out of my head. Why was it happening to me? I've always believed that if I simply talk things through with someone I can resolve any issue but I have not be able to articulate my words in a very polished manner. Mostly due to immaturity, emotional outbursts and inexperience.
Intellectually, I understand managing business expectation & managing teams are highly emotional, very strained, and extremely difficult job. In that light, my question about their behavior seemed trivial and out of place. But emotionally it felt like a betrayal by all. And it left me wondering: Now what?
I could try to talk with them about it again. But I was pretty sure it would go the same way and I would leave feeling more hurt. I could go around talking to other people about them, getting their perspective, complaining. But that's not who I want to be. I could write them off completely. We live in a small world and in this fast paced life its only getting smaller. I don't want to get that rush of negative adrenaline every time we were in the same room. And anyway, do I really want to write off everyone whose actions hurt me? I'm sensitive; I might end up alone. Finally, and perhaps most important, I really want to work and work to get the best out of me.
My mother is surrounded by people who love her. Recently she told me she was going out with someone who had, quite literally, betrayed her; he went behind her back to buy a rare item that had been promised to her. The seller maintained his commitment to my mother and my mother maintained her relationship with both the seller and the betrayer. How was she able to get over it?
"I know what to expect from him," she told me of her betrayer. "That's the kind of person he is."
"Did you ever talk to him about it?" I asked her.
"No," she said, "Why should I? It wouldn't make a difference. I'm not going to change him. And talking about it won't change the situation."
"But how can you still spend time with him? Don't you get angry when you see him?"
"I'm too tired to be angry every time someone does something I don't like. And I don't want to be alienated from everyone. I enjoy him for his other attributes. But I know what to expect from him."
My mother's insight is profound. Her advice?
Live with it.
Their response isn't about me, it's about them, and I'm living in the space between never speaking to him again and trying to fix things by speaking to them. That space is called accepting people as they are.
Their response informs me about them. They have their own reputation for snapping at people and for using anger to intimidate and avoid. It's just that I would never appreciate it directed towards me. It's a part of their character. They may change but I'm not counting on it. My interaction with them offered me data. Data that tells me more about what I should expect from them in the future and choose whether this is the best way forward.
But snapping at me isn't all I should expect from them. And knowing that lets me appreciate the parts of them I like without becoming distracted by the parts I don't. It lets me accept them fully for who they are, without illusion. And it keeps me safe.
No hurt. No anger. No avoidance. No passive-aggressive comeback. Just acceptance of the situation and of them.
Will my relationship with them be more superficial from now on? I am sure it would. But I'm going to try hard not to let it. People are imperfect. That includes my mother's betrayer, it includes them, and it also includes me.
Which makes it all the more important not to write them off. If I did, then I'd end up writing myself off too. Accepting their imperfection and limitations enables me to accept my own.
Which now includes the realization that no matter how good I think I am at communicating, there are some situations I can't resolve with more communication.
***This was an article published by Harvard Business Review and I found it so relevant to my experience, i wanted to capture it with my own experience and see things differently..
Arun, Sarva & Srini were colleagues whom I have worked with and have known them for at least a year or more. It's been a hard year for me and I working with them didn't seem to be easy either. The language itself seems very accusing. They could not get what they were looking for in me and I could not get what i was looking for in them.
My last experience saw with Arun, Arun's way of leading has been surprising, for some reasons he feels intimidation, dis-respect and mocking people is the best way. Srini on the other hand believed in micro managing and absolute dictator like attitude without the ability to own. Sarva, I am still to figure out why we could never connect I was performing well doing what I should or so I believed.
All these experience has taken me aback, hurt and questioning my own ability to manage the relations better. I haven't been able to get some of the bickering and pointless, mindless conversations out of my head. Why was it happening to me? I've always believed that if I simply talk things through with someone I can resolve any issue but I have not be able to articulate my words in a very polished manner. Mostly due to immaturity, emotional outbursts and inexperience.
Intellectually, I understand managing business expectation & managing teams are highly emotional, very strained, and extremely difficult job. In that light, my question about their behavior seemed trivial and out of place. But emotionally it felt like a betrayal by all. And it left me wondering: Now what?
I could try to talk with them about it again. But I was pretty sure it would go the same way and I would leave feeling more hurt. I could go around talking to other people about them, getting their perspective, complaining. But that's not who I want to be. I could write them off completely. We live in a small world and in this fast paced life its only getting smaller. I don't want to get that rush of negative adrenaline every time we were in the same room. And anyway, do I really want to write off everyone whose actions hurt me? I'm sensitive; I might end up alone. Finally, and perhaps most important, I really want to work and work to get the best out of me.
My mother is surrounded by people who love her. Recently she told me she was going out with someone who had, quite literally, betrayed her; he went behind her back to buy a rare item that had been promised to her. The seller maintained his commitment to my mother and my mother maintained her relationship with both the seller and the betrayer. How was she able to get over it?
"I know what to expect from him," she told me of her betrayer. "That's the kind of person he is."
"Did you ever talk to him about it?" I asked her.
"No," she said, "Why should I? It wouldn't make a difference. I'm not going to change him. And talking about it won't change the situation."
"But how can you still spend time with him? Don't you get angry when you see him?"
"I'm too tired to be angry every time someone does something I don't like. And I don't want to be alienated from everyone. I enjoy him for his other attributes. But I know what to expect from him."
My mother's insight is profound. Her advice?
Live with it.
Their response isn't about me, it's about them, and I'm living in the space between never speaking to him again and trying to fix things by speaking to them. That space is called accepting people as they are.
Their response informs me about them. They have their own reputation for snapping at people and for using anger to intimidate and avoid. It's just that I would never appreciate it directed towards me. It's a part of their character. They may change but I'm not counting on it. My interaction with them offered me data. Data that tells me more about what I should expect from them in the future and choose whether this is the best way forward.
But snapping at me isn't all I should expect from them. And knowing that lets me appreciate the parts of them I like without becoming distracted by the parts I don't. It lets me accept them fully for who they are, without illusion. And it keeps me safe.
No hurt. No anger. No avoidance. No passive-aggressive comeback. Just acceptance of the situation and of them.
Will my relationship with them be more superficial from now on? I am sure it would. But I'm going to try hard not to let it. People are imperfect. That includes my mother's betrayer, it includes them, and it also includes me.
Which makes it all the more important not to write them off. If I did, then I'd end up writing myself off too. Accepting their imperfection and limitations enables me to accept my own.
Which now includes the realization that no matter how good I think I am at communicating, there are some situations I can't resolve with more communication.
***This was an article published by Harvard Business Review and I found it so relevant to my experience, i wanted to capture it with my own experience and see things differently..
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Dear Mr. P
Tomorrow mark's a significant day for me. I have been trying to prepare for this for a while now and drawing all but blanks. I thought it would be nice to probably put my thoughts on paper and see if I can make sense of it. So here's what happened ..Grr...I am still not sure if it will put any perspective of things that have happened and if it makes sense to discuss this.
Joining BEI was a move I thought will help me find a stable, secure and reasonable role to grow and learn. Well it did give me a lot of learning and aspects of areas where I need to mature further but it was never in the area of my work. From the very inception each initiative and move were marked with criticism and cynicism. Shrewd, intimidating lingo and often misleading statements didn't help me find the spark needed to take off. From being an initiator to being micro-management to finally no management it seemed that we could not find any good between us. Trust and lack of confidence did not do any good either.
What was set out to be a five year goal when I joined turned in to a couple of years to next month to tomorrow to today and now. I have been a highly motivated and ambitious person nothing can take that away from me. The motivation is independent of the environment it is from the excitement I experience every time i am in front of the customer.
Well even re-reading it does not make sense. what went wrong here I guess everything the start, the day to day affair and finding a bit of faith and support.
Joining BEI was a move I thought will help me find a stable, secure and reasonable role to grow and learn. Well it did give me a lot of learning and aspects of areas where I need to mature further but it was never in the area of my work. From the very inception each initiative and move were marked with criticism and cynicism. Shrewd, intimidating lingo and often misleading statements didn't help me find the spark needed to take off. From being an initiator to being micro-management to finally no management it seemed that we could not find any good between us. Trust and lack of confidence did not do any good either.
What was set out to be a five year goal when I joined turned in to a couple of years to next month to tomorrow to today and now. I have been a highly motivated and ambitious person nothing can take that away from me. The motivation is independent of the environment it is from the excitement I experience every time i am in front of the customer.
Well even re-reading it does not make sense. what went wrong here I guess everything the start, the day to day affair and finding a bit of faith and support.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Just for Laughs!! Another Conspiracy
Well everyone's been talking about Osama and in turn pakistan. Well all of this is making so much fun reading and following. Just for the kicks even I have a theory rather an analysis. Why analyze when no one cares? Just for kicks when you have nothing better to do.
Well Pakistan has given thousands of terrorists and their supporters support; and for the world, give them support to catch them. Sounds like a successful business model. Its almost like breeding and collecting fees for hunting in a Range. Almost a very successful model. Remember when you breed snakes you are mostly like to be beaten once or twice. So why are they crying at all.
It all seems so perfect for Pakistan setting up task forces to catch the world no. 1 and his so called troops while they were happy billing US for all the running around. I can almost imagine the general giving orders to the poor pakistani soldiers Go search this Man called Osama everywhere except Abbottabad. Remember you should not go back to your academy to hunt such a terrorist. This was a great revenue earner for them almost the golden hen. Now that the golden hen is gone who will give them the money to catch the general or the minister giving them search orders. Usually no one pays for cleaning your own shit. This time I have a feeling this might just be the exception. Another way to rake in some mullah.
Sometimes I feel India missed out on the opportunity to buy some of these terrorist out and kill them in their background like the Americans have. Does it sound very inhuman. Well I apologies I mean no one should ever get killed because of the bullets we manufacture for our safety when all it does is kill. How can it ever protect. Don't ever wish to find that out. Anyways war is not the solution neither is keeping quite so lets all make some noise.
While some people are praying that he is gone (most of us), some are praying OMG he is gone (extremists), Some are praying shit he is gone (mostly paki officials), some are praying really is he gone? (always there), Some are praying have mercy he is gone (family & friends), some are praying let us all be (Abottabadi's I guess). If at all let us try and pray that none of us ever harbor, bring up or educate another Osama.
Well Pakistan has given thousands of terrorists and their supporters support; and for the world, give them support to catch them. Sounds like a successful business model. Its almost like breeding and collecting fees for hunting in a Range. Almost a very successful model. Remember when you breed snakes you are mostly like to be beaten once or twice. So why are they crying at all.
It all seems so perfect for Pakistan setting up task forces to catch the world no. 1 and his so called troops while they were happy billing US for all the running around. I can almost imagine the general giving orders to the poor pakistani soldiers Go search this Man called Osama everywhere except Abbottabad. Remember you should not go back to your academy to hunt such a terrorist. This was a great revenue earner for them almost the golden hen. Now that the golden hen is gone who will give them the money to catch the general or the minister giving them search orders. Usually no one pays for cleaning your own shit. This time I have a feeling this might just be the exception. Another way to rake in some mullah.
Sometimes I feel India missed out on the opportunity to buy some of these terrorist out and kill them in their background like the Americans have. Does it sound very inhuman. Well I apologies I mean no one should ever get killed because of the bullets we manufacture for our safety when all it does is kill. How can it ever protect. Don't ever wish to find that out. Anyways war is not the solution neither is keeping quite so lets all make some noise.
While some people are praying that he is gone (most of us), some are praying OMG he is gone (extremists), Some are praying shit he is gone (mostly paki officials), some are praying really is he gone? (always there), Some are praying have mercy he is gone (family & friends), some are praying let us all be (Abottabadi's I guess). If at all let us try and pray that none of us ever harbor, bring up or educate another Osama.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
A special thanks
They say God sends people in your life from time to time to show He cares. While there are so many that fall in that category today I want to take this opportunity to thank some people who have been an ear, kind and encouraging people. I want to begin with my wife Teena, a wonderful loving wife and now a mother. Sophie, a truly supporting soul. Abhineet, vent box janemaan. Priti, a true fighter. UT, always have an eye on us. :)
There are so many more names that i want to write but I choose these people for a moment in time which I call trying..Hope to come out stronger and better. Thanks each and everyone of you who have played such a pivotal role in defining who I am today.
Love you all.
There are so many more names that i want to write but I choose these people for a moment in time which I call trying..Hope to come out stronger and better. Thanks each and everyone of you who have played such a pivotal role in defining who I am today.
Love you all.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
GIA, I love you
Honey, this is for you GIA. As a father I have been thinking about lots of things that I would like to do for you. I already feel the pressure of it; if I can say that. Probably an expectation for myself. I hope I can be a reasonable father who is able to grow with you. This involves understanding how you are growing and transition with you.
Often i think about the way we will communicate with each other. How will we build trust and responsibility for each other. How will I answer all your questions. I have never believed in restrictions and will not like to impose any on you. But I do believe that there are rules and these rules make our discipline which eventually determines our attitude. If any of it make sense to you.
Well you must be wondering why I choose to blog about it. Well I wanted you to understand that the thought and intend was always to align with the changing time and help myself and you to understand how thinking can change or evolve with time. This also happens to be my first, as in my first hand at raising a baby and it already is such a beautiful experience.
Every morning i get up at 5 AM automatically as if the body understands that its time for you to feed and the body works towards it. Playing with you when you wake up, massaging you and then holding you close to me is such a bliss. Everytime I look at you holding close to my face, I am almost amazed to realise I am a father and how adorable you are. Its a feeling I wont be able justify in words. At least not with the writing skills I have. Dressing you up and putting you to sleep again before leaving for work. Today when I write this blog about us I must admit on a couple of things as well.
You are an adorable child. Then again when you are crying its so hard to see you that way as well. Its so so unfair and I am unable to understand what you need and what you are saying (communication) but I try and I try my best to pacify you with my lullabies, walk around the house, on the terrace, up and down the stairs, feed you, finally you either smile on your own or some of what I did worked or you go to sleep. But all of the effort does finally result in watching an adorable child sleep in the crib specially made for you.
Honey it will always be the case, you would like me to understand what you feel and how I can not understand what you going through and I would always try my best but it would always help when you will speak your mind. Speak freely cause taking it for granted that I would always understand what you need or mean would be unfair. It would also be tough to keep pace with your feelings an emotions. Lets keep our date with time as slow and beautiful as possible. Speak freely speak your mind, help me understand you and hopefully you understand the effort I put in. I am nervous I admit because I want to the best I can be for our family, for you. I love you and I always will.
Often i think about the way we will communicate with each other. How will we build trust and responsibility for each other. How will I answer all your questions. I have never believed in restrictions and will not like to impose any on you. But I do believe that there are rules and these rules make our discipline which eventually determines our attitude. If any of it make sense to you.
Well you must be wondering why I choose to blog about it. Well I wanted you to understand that the thought and intend was always to align with the changing time and help myself and you to understand how thinking can change or evolve with time. This also happens to be my first, as in my first hand at raising a baby and it already is such a beautiful experience.
Every morning i get up at 5 AM automatically as if the body understands that its time for you to feed and the body works towards it. Playing with you when you wake up, massaging you and then holding you close to me is such a bliss. Everytime I look at you holding close to my face, I am almost amazed to realise I am a father and how adorable you are. Its a feeling I wont be able justify in words. At least not with the writing skills I have. Dressing you up and putting you to sleep again before leaving for work. Today when I write this blog about us I must admit on a couple of things as well.
You are an adorable child. Then again when you are crying its so hard to see you that way as well. Its so so unfair and I am unable to understand what you need and what you are saying (communication) but I try and I try my best to pacify you with my lullabies, walk around the house, on the terrace, up and down the stairs, feed you, finally you either smile on your own or some of what I did worked or you go to sleep. But all of the effort does finally result in watching an adorable child sleep in the crib specially made for you.
Honey it will always be the case, you would like me to understand what you feel and how I can not understand what you going through and I would always try my best but it would always help when you will speak your mind. Speak freely cause taking it for granted that I would always understand what you need or mean would be unfair. It would also be tough to keep pace with your feelings an emotions. Lets keep our date with time as slow and beautiful as possible. Speak freely speak your mind, help me understand you and hopefully you understand the effort I put in. I am nervous I admit because I want to the best I can be for our family, for you. I love you and I always will.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Hereafter - A need for Closure
Hereafter, a movie after a long time. An experience that filled me with a lot of emotions. The movie portrayed despair, pain and helplessness in so many different ways from a young boy unable to deal with his pain to Man unable to decide whether his gift was an ability or a disability. When life leaves a lot of questions unanswered we are met with curiosity and we all know what that bird can do.
We all seem to seek closure for everything we do, in fact things we don't do also seems to seek an end. A conclusion, a result, a response, a closure for an insatiable human quest. Guess philosophies are created to sometimes help us out when we dont find answers.
The seemingly relentless fight against time and life itself stops or ceases to exists when we meet our destiny. What remains are people who have been associated with us, their questions, agony, happiness and the emptiness of people who have left us for a better living. Does this all even make sense, I have read it twice over and still finding it difficult to put it out in the manner I would really like.
We all seem to seek closure for everything we do, in fact things we don't do also seems to seek an end. A conclusion, a result, a response, a closure for an insatiable human quest. Guess philosophies are created to sometimes help us out when we dont find answers.
The seemingly relentless fight against time and life itself stops or ceases to exists when we meet our destiny. What remains are people who have been associated with us, their questions, agony, happiness and the emptiness of people who have left us for a better living. Does this all even make sense, I have read it twice over and still finding it difficult to put it out in the manner I would really like.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Gloom or Bloom
The apathy at work is not helping me. Finding myself again would probably help I have been thinking of putting down my papers for a long time now and go on a sabbatical. Search myself in the wilderness and explore the possibility of discovering myself in the process. Such is the desperation inside.
The last few months have probably been the most stressful for me. Having to juggle with so many emotions and frustrating situations has forced me in a corner. Break free, my heart calls for it, the mind does not comply. In a vicious circle of self pity and trying to get validation or sympathy from others I really don't know why but I am not getting comfort even after speaking to people.
Its not worth it, the energy inside is the driver and I cannot afford to tire myself because of people around. Half of my energy is spent in trying to convince myself that I am worth every bit of what makes me half of it tries to defend itself. I am not convinced about the whole situation I am faced with. Is it my own doing or the people around doesn't really matter.
Search for the spark is the calling.
The last few months have probably been the most stressful for me. Having to juggle with so many emotions and frustrating situations has forced me in a corner. Break free, my heart calls for it, the mind does not comply. In a vicious circle of self pity and trying to get validation or sympathy from others I really don't know why but I am not getting comfort even after speaking to people.
Its not worth it, the energy inside is the driver and I cannot afford to tire myself because of people around. Half of my energy is spent in trying to convince myself that I am worth every bit of what makes me half of it tries to defend itself. I am not convinced about the whole situation I am faced with. Is it my own doing or the people around doesn't really matter.
Search for the spark is the calling.
A R Home Decor, Mr. Hashim Bangalore
Well I thought it would only be fair to people who are searching for credentials for this company or the contractor Mr. Hashim. We had given the contract to this gentleman to complete our project not only did he leave the project incomplete. The attitude of this person has been far from being a business man. He acts like conman and threatens and misbehaves. His common line of conversation would be that he has worked with the likes of Godrej interior and that a lot of his customers owe him money. His modus operandi has been to start the project and leave it incomplete towards the end when he has collected his end of the deal.
Well in case he has contacted you for work and you are planning on starting work with him please beware. Also please verify his TIN details as the one mentioned to me seems to be derecognised as per the sales tax office bangalore.
Hope this information helps
Well in case he has contacted you for work and you are planning on starting work with him please beware. Also please verify his TIN details as the one mentioned to me seems to be derecognised as per the sales tax office bangalore.
Hope this information helps
The First Road Trip
26th Feb, 2011, yes a Saturday morning 5 AM start, marked the beginning of so many places and people that you will meet and come across in your life. But these were no strangers honey these were people who have lived all their lives to see this day when then bless you. The sight of you the fourth generation in the house. Numerous Grand parents all eagerly awaiting your arrival to see and even in a such short trip give you their life long blessings. You have brought us so much smile and joy that words wont do justice to it.
Oh sweet one, this trip also marked exploring a temple that we both have crossed several times but I guess it was meant for us to visit together. It was the Golden Temple in vellore. An architectural marvel and place which offers more than a place to worship. A long walk around the temple hardly gives you any clue on how the temple looks like up close and why would thousands of people throng this place. You were the queen honey and it seemed to me as if the temple opened its door for you to celebrate the life you have been given. Amidst all the crowd we were able to get to the temple center offer a small prayer and walk out peaceful and all along my love you slept and smiled.
Honey in a couple of days you are all set to travel yet again and the objective really wont change to much but this time for a little longer to meet your other set of great grand parents and uncles. Well i may not be a part of this journey but my thoughts and heart will be with you. I will miss you honey. The day would be 4th march.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Gia..It is
Our prayers have taken shape in the form of you. Our love GIA. I hope you like the name when you grow up. Gia means Soul. In my heart I always talk to you and wonder how you would be when you grow up. How do i bring you up. How do I say what I say without ever sounding like I want to decide things for you my way.
I may not have answers for it right now but I do believe that both of us have one thing called Khushi. She is not only a very level headed person but also a very reasonable person all she needs is our support and love.
Well today you are 20 days old or rather you will complete 20 days. I must admit that you are such a darling to look at. Everyday no matter how stressful or tiring the day has been one glimpse of you and the expressions you make are just about enough to keep us smiling. I need to admit one thing your everyday routine is testing us on our patience. So in case you find the two of us cranky at times you can count it on these days. :) I am specially very cranky with our home nearing completion and small things pending its very hard to maintain peace of mind. The very fact that you and your mom are not getting the space and light needed freaks me. Anyways that me..
I need also tell you about our pact honey we have a club called the DD Club: Daddy Daughter club part of this club is reading stories to you, learning and exploring things together, putting my baby to sleep, having a DD Diary a book of our love and how we feel for each other....Well we can add things to our club as soon as you can start talking
I may not have answers for it right now but I do believe that both of us have one thing called Khushi. She is not only a very level headed person but also a very reasonable person all she needs is our support and love.
Well today you are 20 days old or rather you will complete 20 days. I must admit that you are such a darling to look at. Everyday no matter how stressful or tiring the day has been one glimpse of you and the expressions you make are just about enough to keep us smiling. I need to admit one thing your everyday routine is testing us on our patience. So in case you find the two of us cranky at times you can count it on these days. :) I am specially very cranky with our home nearing completion and small things pending its very hard to maintain peace of mind. The very fact that you and your mom are not getting the space and light needed freaks me. Anyways that me..
I need also tell you about our pact honey we have a club called the DD Club: Daddy Daughter club part of this club is reading stories to you, learning and exploring things together, putting my baby to sleep, having a DD Diary a book of our love and how we feel for each other....Well we can add things to our club as soon as you can start talking
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Key learnings in Office Politics
Its been eight years working and one thing that has troubled me constantly is my inability to understand office politics. This time I have and I didnt want to miss out on noting my learnings.
In all organisation there are issues and these issues are compounded by three or more people facing the same issue. There is no solution available with your peers and not all peers are there to resonate the feeling in a such a manner that it is heard. These sound bytes are often misdirected. Not that they are not genuine reasons but the issues have no resolution and certainly the people creating the noise are in no position to resolve the issue so the best weapon is to shake a leg with the crowd and get on with your work. Remember you were hired for the work and not the politics. Sometime opinions cost more than you can afford. If you cant be heard why waste your energy shouting.
The arrogance of your boss is not as a result of the years of experience in the field but because of the success he has found within the organisation selling himself. You have to respect his success. So it is yes boss show me the way and I will follow your foot steps. Do what you are hired for. No point complaining. There are no shortcuts to being successful in the organisation. You need to prove your credibility but following the discipline of the organisation and innovating with your prospect ever so silently. Noise is good when made with a rhythm and harmony it is music.
Its your way all the way. Someone has rightly said be prepared to loose many battles before you win the war. Work/business is not an emotional affair and hence an emotional response or an emotional decision is never a wise decision.
When faced with criticism laugh it out with the person raising the question with facts. Don't prove others are wrong but what you have done is right and honest. Please never forget that you are not working for anyone but for yourself. The salary you get is not the reward but the right to take it home. To be right you dont have to prove it. It will prove itself. Not sure if my learnings have come in too late in this organisation but it surely has come. I hope I do not make the same mistake again.
Golden Rules: Shut up and do your work. Sometime no opinion is much better than an opinion.
When in a conflict resolve it with the person directly. Remember talk between two is sorting, between three is arbitration and any more than that is politics. Choose wisely.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Sarayu or S.....
Sara, we have been blessed with a child, I cannot tell you how I am feeling and how I feel that you are back with us. God has His Will. She is starting a new journey today and as has been the case you have been the guardian angel for us. Miss you dear. Thank you for being there.
As for my little daughter, I am not sure when you will read this but I am hoping that you read this soon. You were born on a beautiful night at 23.03 on the 7th of Jan 2011. This day marks the beginning of a journey. A journey called life. If anything I wish I can enable you to lead a life with confidence, dignity, truth & happiness. You are a God sent blessing first grandchild in the family. I cant tell you how emotional and excited I was to hold you for the first time. Even as I write this my eyes well up with the very sight of you flashing in front of me. Think I have grown older overnight.
You are one of the most unique child already and I hope I never burden you with my decisions and expectations. Grow as you will hopefully we are able to grow up being best friends and build a trusting relation. Love you a million my darling.
As for your mother, I cant even begin from what she is to me. A pillar of strength and character. An unbiased and superb advisor for everything. She is true, honest, loving & most caring person I could have asked for. I am really thankful to God for giving such an irritable and sometimes stupid person such a beautiful and loving wife.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
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