The apathy at work is not helping me. Finding myself again would probably help I have been thinking of putting down my papers for a long time now and go on a sabbatical. Search myself in the wilderness and explore the possibility of discovering myself in the process. Such is the desperation inside.
The last few months have probably been the most stressful for me. Having to juggle with so many emotions and frustrating situations has forced me in a corner. Break free, my heart calls for it, the mind does not comply. In a vicious circle of self pity and trying to get validation or sympathy from others I really don't know why but I am not getting comfort even after speaking to people.
Its not worth it, the energy inside is the driver and I cannot afford to tire myself because of people around. Half of my energy is spent in trying to convince myself that I am worth every bit of what makes me half of it tries to defend itself. I am not convinced about the whole situation I am faced with. Is it my own doing or the people around doesn't really matter.
Search for the spark is the calling.
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