Honey, this is for you GIA. As a father I have been thinking about lots of things that I would like to do for you. I already feel the pressure of it; if I can say that. Probably an expectation for myself. I hope I can be a reasonable father who is able to grow with you. This involves understanding how you are growing and transition with you.
Often i think about the way we will communicate with each other. How will we build trust and responsibility for each other. How will I answer all your questions. I have never believed in restrictions and will not like to impose any on you. But I do believe that there are rules and these rules make our discipline which eventually determines our attitude. If any of it make sense to you.
Well you must be wondering why I choose to blog about it. Well I wanted you to understand that the thought and intend was always to align with the changing time and help myself and you to understand how thinking can change or evolve with time. This also happens to be my first, as in my first hand at raising a baby and it already is such a beautiful experience.
Every morning i get up at 5 AM automatically as if the body understands that its time for you to feed and the body works towards it. Playing with you when you wake up, massaging you and then holding you close to me is such a bliss. Everytime I look at you holding close to my face, I am almost amazed to realise I am a father and how adorable you are. Its a feeling I wont be able justify in words. At least not with the writing skills I have. Dressing you up and putting you to sleep again before leaving for work. Today when I write this blog about us I must admit on a couple of things as well.
You are an adorable child. Then again when you are crying its so hard to see you that way as well. Its so so unfair and I am unable to understand what you need and what you are saying (communication) but I try and I try my best to pacify you with my lullabies, walk around the house, on the terrace, up and down the stairs, feed you, finally you either smile on your own or some of what I did worked or you go to sleep. But all of the effort does finally result in watching an adorable child sleep in the crib specially made for you.
Honey it will always be the case, you would like me to understand what you feel and how I can not understand what you going through and I would always try my best but it would always help when you will speak your mind. Speak freely cause taking it for granted that I would always understand what you need or mean would be unfair. It would also be tough to keep pace with your feelings an emotions. Lets keep our date with time as slow and beautiful as possible. Speak freely speak your mind, help me understand you and hopefully you understand the effort I put in. I am nervous I admit because I want to the best I can be for our family, for you. I love you and I always will.
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