Arguments!!

After my confrontation with Mom & Dad about our marriage I was left with a soar taste in the mouth. Feeling really low and depressed about the whole experience. I feel as individuals we all have our hypocrisies though we never admit it. Only when someone is effected by it you come to realize the intensity of it.

My mom said a word which would be very difficult for me to forget, honestly i never thought that such a thought exists in my family but such fundamentalism in my own house was shocking. She said "I will not even see that girl or drink water from her hand" little does she know that the ration bought in the house is her money. What if she was a doctor and give her medicines will she not take it?? I am just not in the mood to argue. There can be a thousand arguments for and against a person and there is no way one can convince anyone unless they are open to the idea. Like they say you have to open your mind and heart to accept people and happiness in our lives. My Parents are religious and they follow a lot of these gurus..Sri Sri Ravishankar..he has a lot of followers around the globe. Imagine if he was not open to the idea of working together with people or Gandhi, or Nehru..i mean I am not making a political statement but we all cannot exist without each other, can we??

I am sure even if the world had just one religion there would have been countless number of arguments and fights over other things. Do you really think otherwise? Do you think that there would have been no wars? Brothers have fought with each other remember. There is no guarntee in this world we are all sculpted to fight it out. Survival of the fittest..

For a moment let me keep the whole issue aside and think about my parents are against us. Why people are usually against such marriages. Why only a handful failures are made case studies for the society and the success sweeped under the carpet. I am not the first one to think about a marriage like this and stand against my family. There are countless number of such issue and I choose to bring it up today because today I face it. I am sure my parents are trying to test my conviction and my decision. They are not going to give in so easily after all its an inter Religion marriage. God!! I feel like a revolutionary in my family.

You know what I want to take a complete U-turn on my topic and tell you what as a couple we are going through. Atleast I can tell you my part of the story.

After the argument on Saturday I felt at ease with myself and determined about my decision but at the same time I hated the conversation and the level of hatred that reflected in my parents tonality for a person that they dont even know and what was more disheartening was they didnt even want to meet her. Remarks like; this is the last time I am coming here to stay with you. I am dead because of your actions. Really what did I do? kill someone, raped someone..i only want to know where I am wrong. Is a son good only when he does what he is told. I thought that makes more like a donkey than a son. May be there is some amount of anger in what I write but honestly where did I go wrong ? I am sure my parents have some expectation with me. I would be the happiest if i can fulfill some of their expectations but i dont think the expectation of marrying a person they choose for me is a fair one. I think if that makes me bad I rather be bad than good. I dont want to screw someone elses life when I dont think i can manage it. Pheww what a movie what Melodrama. My parents cried a lot in the last three or four days and I just hate to be the reason for it. I always want them to be happy and if i cant be the reason for happiness I dont want to be the reason otherwise.

That was just one side of it..between my thoughts and arguments with my parents there is this girl who I want to bring into my family with very little promise that my family will support her. I am sure that even if she believes that I will give all that I can to her, her family will not be very confident. This is very tricky situation to be in. This very thought pulled me down and still pulls me down. Will I be able to keep her happy and the promise to give her a good life will i be able to give that to her. These thoughts are something that we all get at some point in our lives but today its a little more scary and more real. All I really think of now is how we will weather the storm. It would be very important for Khushi and me to stick it out now and if we can now I am sure we can than safely say the worst is over. Khushi and I are both impaitient and honestly irritated at the situation. We were arguing about it yesterday and it felt really bad..I can see her pain and she can see mine yet we are both just a little ruffled.

Khushi i really hope things work out for us.