Of Growing up and Growing wise

 The last few years have been tough for me as an individual, growing older you are either assured of who you are or you have doubts on who you have been. This divide has not been very different for me either. Its a good time to look at the last few years which is a journey into health, heart & healing. Not that i have had issues with either but i wanted to better myself at all three. 

Health: What you know about your health, is it really in your control like everything else. To a certain degree it is. Focused on what I can do like a discipline and focus on aspects where I can become better. I do believe in moderation and injury free workouts. I am not looking to be like someone but be someone. My journey is mine alone and cannot be replicated simply because my habits are different and unique to me. I work out or stay active for at least 45 minutes to 90 minutes or more everyday 365 days. The more important reason for me to be healthy is that I gracefully age and not be dependent on anyone else for anything. The uncertainty with health and health matters comes from mental status, preparing and working on your mind was and will always be just as important as your physical health. I have struggled with the mental aspects, I did meditation everyday for about an year and now struggle to get back on the mat on a regular basis. I know the benefits and have experienced it but not able to get back to the routine. Mental health is slow but significant to your health. Health is also what you eat, what goes in your body is what makes you.. Often tempted by the easily available unhealthy food I give in more often then I would like. However, having disciplined the body to eat mostly two meals and some snacks every now and then has some benefits. Also, learning about supplements that work for me. what and how much to take. Not over doing anything is the key.  

Chasing Life through small runs

 In aspirations, the thought flourishes losing track of time. What do you want to achieve is not dependent on what you set out to but what you keep at it despite the challenges. 2024 has been a year of absolute madness. I am not complaining nor regretting anything about it. I have challenged my being many times this year in the sense that I had to fight the demons in my head like never before. Self-doubt, loneliness are creations of your own doing and not someone else. I began this new journey somewhere middle of March chasing life through small runs. The idea was to keep at it without thinking too much. Just simply do it, and now I see myself advocate about it in the strangest of ways. I have been on the fitness path for some time now but haven't felt like this or worked out a schedule like this for myself so I feel proud in a way. Focused on simple goals to achieve two things really 

1. Physical Wellness 

2. Emotional Wellness 

Physical wellness, very loosely put to me meant being able to walk, run, cycle, gym, move without pain and reduce time to recovery. Yes, I feel the reduced time to recovery is the key in my view of how we are progressing in this journey. It still continues to evolve, one day at a time. I have become more aware of when to stop, when to read the signs of the body. In all this eating has also evolved, I have reduced number of meals, reduced intake but time and time I fall back into eating and drinking junk. Sometimes I just allow myself to drift away without being too hard on myself. I have got to my best BMI of around 15 and VO2 Max of 47 recently and I feel great about pushing myself. 

Emotional Wellness, bouts of feeling lonely, desperate at times, anxious or anxiety from different events in life continues. I have tried a few things and have progressed definitely in the right direction. Being able to sync and realise that your journey in life is about how you behave when you are alive. So how do I behave cannot be dependent on how people treat me but how I treat myself despite the situation. Do I have the answers to getting there where I want to me may be not at this time, but I will get there. I will not beat myself to it. 

So why Chase life through small runs. These thoughts become so loud when running that to cut it out you really need to push yourself harder every day. Counting the steps, the breath, pushing your boundaries to realise something that would mean nothing to anyone else other than you. So, what that you run 10kms everyday who the fuck cares. No one Cares about the goals you have set and what you have achieved as it does nothing for anybody else other than you. It's a reminder that you don't need to do anything for anybody and do not need to things in a way that it pleases others. You simply do it, keep at it, one step at a time. You start changing bit by bit. You know there is no better place than where you are. And to reach the destination or not is never decided, never certain. You do not have to be hard on yourself to and definitely do not work to please someone else. The discipline of getting up and doing something as a ritual is prayer like to me now. Sometimes you pass by a temple or a fellow runner and you feel the same energy, even push yourself to better yourself. While I hope I will wake up in the morning and find the courage to go for the run like I did today. I continue to chase life through small runs.