72 hrs & Gone!!

What started a year ago came to a grinding halt. On 15th my Grand Father who was suffering from Blood Cancer breath his last on 16th October, 08 at a hospital in Faridabad close to New Delhi.

Some where deep down I had a feeling that he wont make it. I could have never shared this feeling with anyone but I was hoping and praying that my thoughts were rubbish. On Thursday, 16th October, 08 I was in office working through the day when my Mom asked me to book the first possible flight and come. It was a rude realisation of the fact that life does not give you time to prepare. I know this for a fact as this is not the first experience with life leaving a beloved. Last time it was a friend this time it was a saint of a man, my grandpa, we all called him "Babuji". Everytime you sit close to him he would be pampering you with sweet talk, soothing hands, he could not stop himself from loving his grand children. I am blessed with the fact that I was the oldest Grandson and so enjoyed undivided attention from my grandpa for most part of my childhood.

I was sitting at the Airport waiting for my turn to board the flight and my heart pounding with emotions and pain. I get the news of him passing away and I am stranded alone in a crowded airport crying. The eyes and noise around me was unbearable. I wanted to burst out but just could not. I was hours away from him and yet could not make it. I feel sad and disheartened.

I reach Delhi let in the night and after returning home meet people like me heart shattered and sad but trying their best not to show any emotion and give strength to each other. The following morning had a lot of things. The cremation was to be performed in Brindavan, the place of Lord Krishna, on the banks of the river Yamuna. We all reached there and I saw him in front of him after waiting for almost 72 hrs and I could not stop it felt like a hard blow with a hammer on my heart. His quite and sweet face looked at peace and in a deep sleep. I was hoping he would wake up and hug me anytime but he didnt. His body was cold and stiff.

I have been in that man's arm and walked holding his hands for God alone knows how many scary paths today I have to carry him on my shoulder the last time for the longest journey and unlike him I cant even make sure that the roads are safe and nice for me to walk. I have to leave him and come and start picking up things from where i left. He would be alone I still have a lot of people. I dont know what to say and how it feels. Tears are certainly no comfort yet I feel like crying ..........

I would always miss him ........babuji..........