Of Growing up and Growing wise

 The last few years have been tough for me as an individual, growing older you are either assured of who you are or you have doubts on who you have been. This divide has not been very different for me either. Its a good time to look at the last few years which is a journey into health, heart & healing. Not that i have had issues with either but i wanted to better myself at all three. 

Health: What you know about your health, is it really in your control like everything else. To a certain degree it is. Focused on what I can do like a discipline and focus on aspects where I can become better. I do believe in moderation and injury free workouts. I am not looking to be like someone but be someone. My journey is mine alone and cannot be replicated simply because my habits are different and unique to me. I work out or stay active for at least 45 minutes to 90 minutes or more everyday 365 days. The more important reason for me to be healthy is that I gracefully age and not be dependent on anyone else for anything. The uncertainty with health and health matters comes from mental status, preparing and working on your mind was and will always be just as important as your physical health. I have struggled with the mental aspects, I did meditation everyday for about an year and now struggle to get back on the mat on a regular basis. I know the benefits and have experienced it but not able to get back to the routine. Mental health is slow but significant to your health. Health is also what you eat, what goes in your body is what makes you.. Often tempted by the easily available unhealthy food I give in more often then I would like. However, having disciplined the body to eat mostly two meals and some snacks every now and then has some benefits. Also, learning about supplements that work for me. what and how much to take. Not over doing anything is the key.  

Chasing Life through small runs

 In aspirations, the thought flourishes losing track of time. What do you want to achieve is not dependent on what you set out to but what you keep at it despite the challenges. 2024 has been a year of absolute madness. I am not complaining nor regretting anything about it. I have challenged my being many times this year in the sense that I had to fight the demons in my head like never before. Self-doubt, loneliness are creations of your own doing and not someone else. I began this new journey somewhere middle of March chasing life through small runs. The idea was to keep at it without thinking too much. Just simply do it, and now I see myself advocate about it in the strangest of ways. I have been on the fitness path for some time now but haven't felt like this or worked out a schedule like this for myself so I feel proud in a way. Focused on simple goals to achieve two things really 

1. Physical Wellness 

2. Emotional Wellness 

Physical wellness, very loosely put to me meant being able to walk, run, cycle, gym, move without pain and reduce time to recovery. Yes, I feel the reduced time to recovery is the key in my view of how we are progressing in this journey. It still continues to evolve, one day at a time. I have become more aware of when to stop, when to read the signs of the body. In all this eating has also evolved, I have reduced number of meals, reduced intake but time and time I fall back into eating and drinking junk. Sometimes I just allow myself to drift away without being too hard on myself. I have got to my best BMI of around 15 and VO2 Max of 47 recently and I feel great about pushing myself. 

Emotional Wellness, bouts of feeling lonely, desperate at times, anxious or anxiety from different events in life continues. I have tried a few things and have progressed definitely in the right direction. Being able to sync and realise that your journey in life is about how you behave when you are alive. So how do I behave cannot be dependent on how people treat me but how I treat myself despite the situation. Do I have the answers to getting there where I want to me may be not at this time, but I will get there. I will not beat myself to it. 

So why Chase life through small runs. These thoughts become so loud when running that to cut it out you really need to push yourself harder every day. Counting the steps, the breath, pushing your boundaries to realise something that would mean nothing to anyone else other than you. So, what that you run 10kms everyday who the fuck cares. No one Cares about the goals you have set and what you have achieved as it does nothing for anybody else other than you. It's a reminder that you don't need to do anything for anybody and do not need to things in a way that it pleases others. You simply do it, keep at it, one step at a time. You start changing bit by bit. You know there is no better place than where you are. And to reach the destination or not is never decided, never certain. You do not have to be hard on yourself to and definitely do not work to please someone else. The discipline of getting up and doing something as a ritual is prayer like to me now. Sometimes you pass by a temple or a fellow runner and you feel the same energy, even push yourself to better yourself. While I hope I will wake up in the morning and find the courage to go for the run like I did today. I continue to chase life through small runs.

Reflections

Off the winding roads on to the dirt,

A path still to be carved, 

an adventure still to be explored,

The unknown and the fear of the known, 

Life is an explorer and your choices the driver. 

Destination unknown.

Live with the excitement of the explorer, 

Trade with the caution of a keeper, 

Surrender to the sail only to trust the wind, 

Sensibility and sensitivity be the guide, 

No matter how choppy the tide, 

Destination unknown. 

Never for the shore nor for the city, 

The explorer is for the journey. 

Living for it and lost in it, 

Only to start one thinking many more to come, 

It's not how you reached but how you traveled, 

Destination unknown. 

Traveled but not accompanied, 

Found only to be lost, seen but forgotten, 

A meaningless tryst the greatest explorer, 

Not without a compass but with a story teller, 

To share the twist without the turn, 

Destination unknown.

Not to be alone but only to be cherished, 

Paddle on the wheel,

Not to be pushed but only to be guided, 

Holding on to the road only to be closer to the

Destination unknown 

Europe Vacation with a todler & a 6 Year Old - An Indian Family Saga : Part 1

Family Vacation to Europe

There is a lot written out to there to help plan an itinerary to places to visit and I am sure they will have done a far better then i ever will. This is my first trip to Europe add to that the first trip with my family on such a long journey.

We are traveling with a 2 year old and a 6 year old. You can imagine the butterflies and the excitement. While I am relatively frequent traveler and so is my family. This by far would be our longest journey. Am I sounding anxious definitely I am.

Let me begin with my planning, I booked myself on JetAirways from Bangalore to Paris via Abu Dhabi carefully using all our miles returning London to Bangalore via Delhi again JetAirways. I preferred the Indian Airlines over the other options purely from the fact that they might just understand Indian Travellers better but it remains to be seen. I booked the rest of the trip mostly for hotels and Visa through a travel agent Trip Factory. I think i could have done a better job than they did but guess didnt want to take the risk and responsibility to make sure everything is right. I realise that its only better that you do things on your own and talk to people you might know who have traveled to plan your trip then these agents. You definitely cant plan everything and you definitely dont think you can research it all. But as they say some plan is better than no plan.

UK Visa has to be first if you are planning Europe with London. For the Visa make sure that you have enough documents and make sets of at least two. VFS offices make a killing out of even photocopying papers and documents. There is absolutely no use of paying to them for an SMS service. Thats water down the toilet DO NOT OPT for it. Once done apply for Schengen Visa again there is no SMS and tracking charges for the Schengen Visa, they keep updating you on the status and its very fast. You get the visa in less than 4 working days. But again carry multiple sets of insurance, tickets and other paper work to ensure that the process is smooth.

We are a vegetarian family add to that my wife is very particular about food. We are carrying one bag of ready to eat meals for the trip easily upto 23 kgs. The anxiousness is only growing as we draw close to the travel dates. First the luggage, you are allowed only 2 PCs of checkin luggage per person and it cannot be more than 23 kgs each. I thought I could carry 83 Kgs and it would a breeze. Pack everything in one bag and  carry two smaller bags for everything else. Guess what you cant do that. You have to carry 2 pc of luggage for each passenger and keep it under 23 kgs. This only means that you will travel with more number of luggage and a stroller for your young one. The plan from an original 3 suitcase (1 large, 1 medium and 1 small) all gone for a toss. We had not add two more pieces which means that now my travel is already very exciting given that i am traveling on Thalys from Paris to Amsterdam, a high speed rail experience. They have very little information on stoppage time and they close the gates 2 minutes before departure so you need to be ahead of schedule but
you cant reach the station too early because track and other details are displayed only 20 minutes prior. But I guess you need to face what comes. Manage kids and load everything on the train and guess that you don't be anxious. My neighbor who travels frequently to europe threw a last minute spanner saying you need Car seats or you wont be able to travel by cabs as it is mandatory for travel. I freaked for one I dont have one and even if I did have one how do I carry the car seat a monster in itself. The kept me awake through the night, researching. Finally to conclude that public transport is the answer and wherever you are using cabs you need to request for family vans rest I can tell you only once I have completed my travel. Indian Kids used to jumping around in the car no seat belts this is going to be interesting. I am preparing myself mentally to keep calm and believe this will be one hell of a team building activity for my family. We are in the final moments of packing and to set off on this memorable journey. 

Hriedaya - Gia - My Heart & My Soul

This has been stuck in my head for a while now but I couldn't get around to write it. Thinking of where to begin.

Gia, I am not sure how should I be as a father. I read many things and get many advice from people on how I should behave around both of you. Then I have my own conflicting Views on my way of handling in my head. I  just want you to know that i am trying hard. I aspire to be a reasonable, loving and most importantly a father you are proud of. Hopefully you see my anger as my inability to control my emotion and not your failure. I Love you and I know that I am hard on you at times in trying to bring positive impact. Not sure how successful I am. You are very good at expressing your views and often my voice scares you but you know that I am not shouting at you but at myself for not being able to control those anger pangs. I am trying hard and would continue to try and do better than I did yesterday. We have all seen changes around us and one of them is your little sister. I have seen your love for her but her health demands us to work together. I am asking a lot for my 6 year old but we have to now show care for each other and look out for each other. Hopefully in years to come you would be able to see the care and love for each other and not a bias for one over the other.

Hreidaya, my darling, your doing pranam every now and then and your throwing tantrums every now and then melts and boils me at the same time. We have to all learn new way of living one that has more control on our emotions and one that can help us all to be together stronger than ever. Would always want to see you smile .... 

2015- New Milestone year in our life

As the calendar changes to reveal, a new year, its so many memories that go to the books this year. We started the year expecting a new member to our family. And there she is a beautiful angel "Hriedaya" born in March.

Life came a full circle, it just seemed yesterday that Gia was so small and now Hriedaya she reminds me of Gia as a new born. This feeling is very hard to describe Gia & Hriedaya both truly represent my heart and Soul. Though we never planned their names to be like that but Now that it is. I so like to say its Nature's way to show you how it conspires to get you what you want. With its bag of happiness this year also brought in mixed share of worries, fights & opportunities. As a couple we both are beginning to act stupid certainly all signs of an aging wine. Some bitterness and awesome flavors when it settles, but we sure are getting there. The whole Oracle Incident still haunts my memories. Petty organisational politics and no respect for loyalty is increasingly becoming a norm. What's the point in this bickering when I know that there is no ears to employees no matter what the truth.

I loved our Family Photographs this year, we have to do this every year. Its such a feeling, Cant wait to get the next one when all of us are together.

Natural Justice & Fair Treatment: A Case of wrongful treatment to an Employee J

TCS Firing: A news that questioned a lot of unfair practices and poor employee grievance redressal systems in the Indian Corporate scenario. We might be part of the educated and organised job scene but the treatment we face in the case of termination and/or unethical treatment in case of disputes within the organisations in India; is no where close to any employment standard anywhere in the world. Even global MNC's with offices in India make the most of the current loop holes in the system.

Even though most companies have ethics helplines and Grievance redressal sytems in some form or the other but it is only because of compliance and not to actually any resolve issues. There are hardly any statics on how many cases have been reported and how many been have been resolved and its any body's how many are in favour of the complainant, that are being published. I dont think all complains are genuine. But there are a few cases that I am sure we all know or have heard which deserves the merit of a fair treatment, before being decided in favour of the management, however out of the fear of retaliation most of these cases have never even see the light of the day.

Recently, a very close friend of mine narrated the plight he went through in his organisation and how scapegoats are found to save a few on top. There is no question of fair treatment. I will let you decide and hope that some day sense would prevail and there would be some logical answers and punishments for those abusing the position of strength.

THE CASE

An impromptu Career discussion meeting (Calendared 30 mins before the meeting with CDM as the subject) is called for with all the stake holders (reporting manager, Group Manager, HR and the person. During the meeting it is informed (not discussed) to the person, that the business has decided that he would be best suited for a role which is at a lower level than the one currently being held(same level as he was 7 years ago and to pacify him they add its not a demotion). This decision is based on feedback from the team and previous engagement and other inputs and that the concerned person needs to accept the role effective immediately. On seeking specific reasons for this decision and requesting for documenting the Minutes of the current meeting it is mentioned that there was no need for it. (Its a business decision so we wont need the minutes documented and its to inform). On insisting for reasons and basis which the decisions was made vague reasons are highlighted and an corroborated by the HR (in the form of some due diligence conducted by them) without taking into view or giving an opportunity to the affected person to explain or defend their position. Lets for a moment look at the reasons on which  the so called decisions was made to get rid of the person.

1. Skills Set  - (No area specifically mentioned apparently a skill set check was conducted across the org and the person did not fit the job requirement. The effected person has never taken any skill assessment as claimed)
2. Unable to Handle Stress (How they came to this conclusion again the basis is not shared)
3. Feedback (From different people against the person)

On asking specific questions.
Why does the change have to be made immediately ? As there are timelines to meet it has to be immediately come into effect
What is the new assignment/options does he have for the new role? Nothing has been thought and it has to be explored and something will be assigned shortly.

Assume for a moment that all the accusation made against the person are true, even then Nature Justice and fair treatment would recommend that a fair warning is issued, a memo raised, Skills reinforcement done, regular course correction and review done on the progress. If the person fails to meet the criteria inspite of all the efforts taking the business decision or even firing makes a lot of sense. NO, none of it is followed. All that is done is that the person is told that it is decided take it or leave the organisation (the ultimate goal, which could not be accomplished because of lack of paper work to support it).

I dont want to influence the above scenario with my own observations but its important to highlight that this person has been with the organisation for almost 9 years. Managed several responsibilities, excelled in previous roles and now almost after close to a decade with this company they decide without giving an opportunity to explain or even correct the wrong, take whatever is thrown at you or get out.

What should be the Natural Justice ? What would be a fair way to handle this situation ?

Does the employee stand any chance when the entire management gangs up against one person? How do you let the truth prevail?